This has been an odd Summer for friendships. Lost a “friend” ( he’s gone crazy on me before so that line of trust was broken)because he saw me standing by my husband as friendship treason. Fine.

Another person- who I’ve never trusted and think is a gossip-hound- is pissed at me for calling out some people for their treatment of others in our profession. I mentioned no names as I felt I should give those people a chance to right the situation. She somehow got the impression it was all about her. [where did SSS(special snowflake syndrome) come from?!] when she tried to text, email, and call, I didn’t answer any as my words are generally used against me. What made me text was her inferring that our friendship was over should I NOT call her back to tell her these people’s names and that I somehow OWED her this information. (Eventhoughidontlikerumors. Kthxbyeeeee). I called her out on it.

Someone I DID consider to be a close friend has just sort of slipped away.

I realize a lot happened in my life this Summer but that doesn’t mean that’s all I want to talk about and I don’t need anyone’s sympathy. Did I feel a little overwhelmed and sad? Sure! But that doesn’t mean I want to discuss it. It means I want to enjoy life. I want to feel normal. I can discuss things but I know it can overwhelm others as well. And maybe that’s why she slipped away. I can get that. But it hurts that instead of continuing to be my friend and tell me that everything is ok on her end, she’s just chosen to ignore me.

I know I’ll hear from her for my birthday. And that’s a sweet thought. But I miss her and the other 3 we hung out with. The 4 of them just sort of quit texting. I know they get together. Oh well?

i DO feel much better. It takes time. Occasionally I REALLY miss my dog and it hurts.

I ran in to one of the previously mentioned 4 people the other day and she told me I needed to drink tea to strengthen my uterus. I was kinda like, da fuq? I felt like telling her that the baby didn’t just, like, fall out at the grocery store. When I asked her “Strengthen?” (My literal word with a head cock) she said so that I could have a healthy pregnancy and baby. I think this is the first time I felt gut-punched. Like I felt as if someone was telling me the miscarriage was my fault. I had felt that way from my own guilt but to feel like someone else was saying it was a wretched feeling.

Anyway.

It’s been a strange Summer of loss.

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